Worst Jokes Ever
This guy is boiling water. The girl walks in and says, “What are you doing?” The guy says, “I’m making Holy Water.” She said, “How?” He said, “I’m boiling the hell out of it.”
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and he just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"
"My penis."
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"