Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*
Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*
Me: Well, shit.
One time I ate a chair.
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.