Worst Jokes Ever

Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley!

Why are birds good at social media?

Because they "tweet" all the time!?

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Cakatoo."

"Cakatoo who?"

"So, you're a Rooster now?"

My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.

You want to hear a 9/11 joke?

I bet they did too!

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."

The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"

Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.

How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?

Seasoned vegetables.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fish with no eyes.

What is yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of kids.

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.

What is Green and Red and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender.

(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

One can support an average family.

What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?

Roman noodles.