Worst Jokes Ever
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
My mom got a clown for my birthday, but it ended up being my sister. 🤡
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.