At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.
Worst Jokes Ever
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
What pictures do orphans take? Selfies.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Dark jokes are like home. A lot of people don't get it.
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
