Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
What is the best item at a Mexican Burger King?
Hopper Jr.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?