Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
Worst Jokes Ever
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!
What did one orphan say to another?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
The apples actually get picked.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
