Worst Jokes Ever
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
How did Hitler tie his tiny little shoesies?
With tiny little Nazis.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.