Worst Jokes Ever
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'
I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'
I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
Yo mama so fat when she went to the movie theater, she sits next to everyone.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.