Worst Jokes Ever
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
How did Hitler tie his tiny little shoesies?
With tiny little Nazis.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.