Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.

What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?

"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."

So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*

Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?

A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

A priest is drowning in a river. A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that God will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you three f***ing boats and you didn't take them!"

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

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Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?

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How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.