Worst Jokes Ever
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
Cunt.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
My sister keeps cursing... so I made fun of her... "fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk", fowl language is for chickens!
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?
I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
What do you do when a baby starts to cry?
You use more lube.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.