Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?

A baked potato.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

How does Hellen Keller meet men?

She goes on blind dates.

I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

All these people on here making me wish I knew them IRL.

Americans: I will cook the pizza.

Italians: I cooka de pizza!

A young couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.

Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.

"White people can't jump..."

"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

If an emo doesn't get better by Christmas, Santa's reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year.

What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?

Santa stops at three hoes.

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)