Worst Jokes Ever
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What is the best type of girl to fuck?
Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Why can't a T-Rex clap?
He's dead.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.