Worst Jokes Ever
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.