Worst Jokes Ever
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.
What is the name of the political party in the United States that was founded in 1971 and has lost a presidential election since 1972, and is more politically corrupted than the man boy love association of America because it is politically motivated?
Libertarian Party.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac.
When an American has it go backwards, it's tactic.
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
Why can't orphans go on school trips?
Parent's signature.
Q: What's the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.