Worst Jokes Ever

Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!

For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.

If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.

This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?

No Panera Bread.

Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.

You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

What do you call an orphan?

Homeless.

I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.

Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?

Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

Don’t make jokes about 9/11. My dad was the best Middle Eastern pilot.

Why do orphans play GTA? Because they can’t be wanted.

Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?

Because his keys were inside of the ignition.

What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.