Worst Jokes Ever
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
Only a true MHA fan would understand.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
You want a joke? My entire existence.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
I had amnesia once... maybe twice.
Your face is a joke.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
FIERY LOS
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.