Worst Jokes Ever
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
Q: Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
A: Everywhere.
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
Flippity floppity, women are property.
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
New horror movie idea.
The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.