Worst Jokes Ever
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.
1-2-..... and he left without a trace.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
I like penguins.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Heaven.
Heaven who?
Heaven fun over there?
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
Why are french fries rude?