Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?

Non-buy dairy.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.

What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

What store can an orphan never find?

Home Depot.

You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!

Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.

What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?

They're both white and flavorless.

Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.

Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”

Wife: “ok... what is it?”

Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.

The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"

The second said: "I'd do it for free!"

The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"

The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"

I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?

Tell him the truth.

What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?

Fosters.

What's black and white and red all over? An American School.