Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.