Worst Jokes Ever
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
Yo mama is so skinny, she uses floss as toilet paper.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?