Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.
Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"
The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?
If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.