Worst Jokes Ever

I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.

Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.

A collection of 911 jokes.

What kinda pizza did they order at 911?

Plane.

What was the color of 911?

Plane.

What is the fastest way to see 911?

Plane.

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

What’s the difference between a priest and target?

Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!

If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.

Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.

A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!

What is the best type of girl to fuck?

Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.

What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?

BONE-Appetit!

If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.

What did the ocean say when it saw the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.

Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....

Mom: It's a pillow fort.

Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?

Mom: You're almost 19 years old.

Me: Not good enough... OUT!

A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.

When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.

Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!