Worst Jokes Ever
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.
Credits: to my friend.
Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Me: Are you okay?
Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out," I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.