Worst Jokes Ever
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Patient: Oh, doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Trump, must I say more?
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
Stephen Hawking is not dead; he just needs to charge.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.