Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.

A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.

The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,

"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,

"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."

What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.

I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.

The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.

Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."

The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.

The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.

The third lady says, "I never had a husband."

The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."

They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.

The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."

"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"

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