Worst Jokes Ever
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)
What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."