Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder!

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a good year, and one's a great year.

TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?

My cousin: the other half.

Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.

Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”

Person #2: “No, you can have it.”

Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”

Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.

Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.