Worst Jokes Ever

Why is there no gambling in Africa?

Too many Cheetahs.

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem.

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”

Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.

But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?

Was Randy. 👹

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.

Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!

Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.

What is an emo's least favorite game?

Cut the rope.

What did the kid say to the emo?

"Don't leave me hanging!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!