Worst Jokes Ever
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!