Worst Jokes Ever
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
I love all races, even the bad ones.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
What did the titanic say as it was sinking?
I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for hours.
Light the man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
What do you call a family picture for an orphan?
A selfie.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.