Worst Jokes Ever
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.