Worst Jokes Ever
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didnβt know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesnβt have legs?