Worst Jokes Ever
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
Olivia Rodrigo
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and I feel better.
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."