Worst Jokes Ever
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" the passenger said.
"Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
What did the angel say when it went to heaven? Well, halo there!
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.