Worst Jokes Ever
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
Hillary Clinton
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.