Worst Jokes Ever
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.