Worst Jokes Ever

I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?

What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?

Lady fingers.

Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.

Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.

I'm a big fan of white boards. I find them... Remarkable.

I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.

You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.

What's a skeleton's favorite food?

Spare ribs.

What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?

I don't have $1 million in my wallet.

Sans: Zzzzzzzz.

Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it, dude?

Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.

Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.

Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.

And your IQ is 5.

Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.

Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"

A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."

What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?

A porkypine!