Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
because they'll never make it home.
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby?
One makes you cry when you cut it up.