Worst Jokes Ever
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.