Worst Jokes Ever
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What goes up and down but stays in the same place?
Stairs.
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait
Did you know I'm a really fast reader?
I can go through a few stories in just a few seconds!
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Why do orphans always have water with their cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk!
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*