Worst Jokes Ever
In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
Trevor Bauer for President.
Beans