Worst Jokes Ever
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
Boner.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.