Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?
Free service for tit holding!
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
Call of Duty kill cam be like.
This is the best kill streak ever!
"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸