Worst Jokes Ever
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into towers.
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
What is the highest number?
420.
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.