Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A ffsshh.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.
So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.
I had a fun funeral / birthday.