Worst Jokes Ever

Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.

Woah, nice cock.

How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?

By dropping two of the biggest roasts.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.

Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"

Why didn't the Asian get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the frog's fingers.

How did the hipster drown?

He ice-skated before it was cool.

How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?

She comes home with sparkles on her face.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To die.

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?

A chicken tender.

Why are orphanages like dogs?

Because they get adopted.

What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?

Mashed potatoes.

A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!

What did the orphan get for Christmas?

Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.

What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

Incest.

When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.

How are mountains able to see?

They peak!