Worst Jokes Ever
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.