Worst Jokes Ever
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.