Worst Jokes Ever
This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.
I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!