Worst Jokes Ever
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
Hippity Hoppity, women are property. (sans undertale)
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.