Worst Jokes Ever
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.