Worst Jokes Ever
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.