Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.
Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?
A: A creepy crawly.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin