Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? The rabbi cuts it off, and the priest sucks it off.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
I read a book on anti-gravity...
It was impossible to put down.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.