Worst Jokes Ever
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”