Worst Jokes Ever

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

He never learned to mix the colors.

Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

Orphan: "How?"

Kid: "You wouldn't know."

Orphan: "........."

Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?

Billy's jeans.

Don't worry about missing a shot after yelling "Kobe". He didn't make it either.

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?

I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.

I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?

A baked potato.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.

I thought I saw Jojo Siwa... no wait, it's your hairline.

I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.

A grasshopper jumps into a bar.

The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."

The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"

I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.

When I got to school, I was speechless.

Why did the skeleton want a friend? He was feeling bonely.