Worst Jokes Ever
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.