Worst Jokes Ever
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he only cums once a year.
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
Want to hear a joke about prostitution?
Never mind, it's whoreable :)
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.