Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"