Worst Jokes Ever

Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

Oh, neither did he.

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan is typing...

Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.

When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?

Dribble.

I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.

Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.

My life is a joke.

Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.

I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.

I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.

So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"

Death once had a near Chuck experience.