Worst Jokes Ever

What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.

I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.

The priest is in jail now.

What’s the best time to commit suicide?

8 a’glock in the morning.

My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."

Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because he had a sour stomach.

What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeno.

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello on the other side.

If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,

They would be alloys.

Rizz

Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.

Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.

An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.

The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.

The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.