Worst Jokes Ever
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."
An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.
The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.
The man asks, "Is it your first time?"
The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
Website: Submit a joke :-)
Me: My life.
I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
Yo mama so poor, she can't even pay attention.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?