Worst Jokes Ever
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
Q: What makes depressed kids jump?
A: Bridges.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
I can see my future in your forehead.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."