Worst Jokes Ever

Everyone loves orphans,

other than their parents of course.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?

One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...

I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

What's the best part about a dead prostitute?

The second hour is free.

Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.

On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"

I'm dying to live forever!

Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

How do you win an argument against an emo?

Kick the chair!

I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!

I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!

Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

Me: Aren't they the same thing?

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

Suicide Squad!

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

No?

They both got six months.

What does a skeleton put on his roof?

Shin-gulls.

Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.

When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

What does a priest hold on to when having sex?

He holds on to the schoolbag.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.

My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"