Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama's so stupid that she studied for her eye test.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.