Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".