Worst Jokes Ever
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Son - Dad, I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class.
Dad - Son, that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!
I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.