Worst Jokes Ever
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.