Worst Jokes Ever
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.
The word "ginger" is just the n-word reorganized.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.