Worst Jokes Ever
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.