Worst Jokes Ever

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

What is Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.

I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...

I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.

To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)

My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭

The orphan: why don't my parents love me? Me: because you don't have any.

Why did the boy get run over?

Sally was driving.

What music do Astronauts listen to?

Nep-tunes.

When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.

This is really mean...

A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."

The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.

Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?

Because she blew up.

Where did Lucy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

What makes you think feminists can change anything?

If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?

I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.

Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?

A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.