Worst Jokes Ever
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”
Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.