Worst Jokes Ever
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
Emo jokes are not funny, so cut it out.
If I die, delete my search history.
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Suicide.
"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Once I'm done choking you,
You will be too.
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
Q. What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
A. a PadaJuan.