Worst Jokes Ever
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.