Worst Jokes Ever

Lol. It was just a prank, bro.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.

What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?

New York Jets.

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

Person B: Over my dead body.

Person B: *gets the noose*

Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"

Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.

Why did the orphan commit mass murder?

To be on top of the wanted list.

A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.

The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."

The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"

The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."

Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."

"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."

- Bill Cosby

Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...

Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek?

Because he's always spotted.

What is the best cure for aging?

Suicide.