Worst Jokes Ever
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
Babies can spread a nasty smell,
especially when you haven't fed them for a month.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
You are the reason double doors were invented.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.