Worst Jokes Ever
I was playing hangman, and I gave up on the word "LIFE".
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.