Worst Jokes Ever
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full Esé.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
What is the difference between a woman performing anilingus on a man and a woman performing fellatio on a man?
If a woman is performing anilingus on a man, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
What is killing your friend called?
A homie-side.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.