Worst Jokes Ever
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words...
"Lazy."
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.