Worst Jokes Ever
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
What’s the best part about raping a blind girl? She’ll never see you coming.
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
What soda do mountains drink? Mountain Dew.
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle, except Cancer.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have got no home to run to.