Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

Alps clear the mind! Haha.

"Ben 10" games on Roblox: 💀💀💀

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.

Why did the kidnapper cross the road?

To get the kids at the playground.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

What is the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers? The Tower of Pisa is more flexible.

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?

"Let's talk later, I need to catch a plane."

How does a woman scare their gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”

The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”

What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?

They both don’t work.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.

He’s used to penetrating aggressively.

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"

What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.