Worst Jokes Ever

Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?

No, it screeches.

Why does an orphanage have milk?

Because Dad never came back with the milk.

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...

"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"

Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."

"Oh, right. How's it going?"

"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."

"Wow! What about NATO?"

"They haven't turned up yet."

Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?

A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓

What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?

Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.

If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?

Years of child support!

I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"

The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."

What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?

- Wassaaaa....B!

Steel led to World War 2.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball, Laquon Treadwell!

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They can’t find home.

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.

What do you call a cow with no leg?

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry in front of me, or else I'll cry!"

What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?

I yam.

What should you name a dog without any legs?

It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.

What is a good night's sleep?

"Good night night love ❤️"

I drew a picture of Colby.

Too bad it got ripped up 😢

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?

🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.