Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?